Big Changes, New Chapter, and Senior Year Student

Big Changes, New Chapter, and Senior Year Student

3:20:00 AM Komentar

Hey everyone. How're you doing? Hoping everything's going well on you. If you ask me how am I doing? Well, today I am just fine actually but I don't have any idea couple days ago, might be I am not. You know! Got a rough days, hectic-kills really fucked me up and couldn't escape from that, I had to face it. Internship came into an end finally but it's mean bunch of things would have to be done, moving back to Bogor (again), get ready for the internship final report, cleaned up my room after 2 months I did not (don't judge me! it's because I just come back) and more pathetically I had no money, so stayed at home was the only one option. What a day!

Before we go on I want to clarify the words I said "had no money" above. Well, to be honestly live in Jakarta is hard, like Totally Hard. High living costs, some bad habits, air pollutions, and those pretty much sums up how suck everything is, in Jakarta. Everything is expansive there (for me), I spent a lot money during my living time there, and for the result I was back to Bogor with lack-of-MONEY.

Allright, now let me write up the things that happened to me. Let's start up from EID MUBARAK. First of all, sorry! This is so damn late to post about Eid Mubarak, it passed few months ago but as I mentioned above hectic-kills messed me up so, I just couldn't make it.

I got a half special Eid Mubarak celebration this year. I mean some cases it could be special because I was doing it in the way I never did, but in another case it could be not, because I wasn't doing it in the way I supposed to. Every years I (supposed to) celebrated Eid Mubarak at home, with my entire family, my parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, nephew and nieces, which was in Sumanik (it’s a name of the hometown where I come from). Yet this year I did it miles away from them. But, you know of course I did it with any reasons, and the main reason is the Internship. I was doing my internship for about 2 months for the total and my college summer holiday was only 2 months and one week long. So that’s mean I just have one week free before the new semester begun. What could I do in such period? Go home? Nope, it won’t be enough at all. So, stay then. It was totally tough in advance, every day I fall into a deepest sadness, I got myself on very high-uptightness circumstances, and what worst is 2 days right before the celebration I got a phone call from my mom, she said my sister has just birthed her new baby, and at the time I was like WHAT? My new niece has just been born? I didn’t even know she pregnant and I wasn’t even told by anybody before, how come nobody tell me? Well, I give my best speculation, tho. It was probably a surprise for me. Okay I’m good.

Well, Eid Mubarak is identically with something new. We have been through fasting month for a whole month and for those who could give their effort for it would be deserved for a blank white paper, it means our past sins about to be erased and we seem to be reborn as a brand new again. And so are the clothes, in Eid Mubarak celebration people tend to wear a new clothing. Unfortunately this year I didn’t make it. For the first time I didn’t buy any new-clothing for the celebration. I know it is not such a big deal actually, I bet you’d think only children would do that, it’s just a little things, but Hey! Listen up! A movie quote says “Never underestimate the power of little things, because when you least expect it, the little things can cause a ripple effect that changes your life”. That is true, and yes, that little things changes my life. Now I surely say “for the first time not being at home and not buying any new-clothing in Eid Mubarak celebration” is the biggest changes I’ve ever made in my entire life.

I celebrated Eid Mubarak with my cousins at Tangerang

 

As I always said on every posting I posted it seems like the world is moving so fast, and right now things are changing so much. Yet ironically, I’m so afraid of any kind of changes, and so desperate to cling to anything I already get used to, age-changes in particularly. I don’t know and still couldn’t figure out why should I be terrified of being grow up? However I just wish I wasn’t in such a rush to grow up, that was it. Too much things I hadn’t done yet and I’d like to do in this ages. I am 21 year old by now, 3 month ahead I’d turn 22.

7^th semester has just been starting, and new ink has just been written up to the new blank paper. Start from September, 1^st 2014 on, I am officially become the SENIOR YEAR STUDENT. Which mean the NEW CHAPTER of life has been made. Well, I am apparently in the midst of being excited and not-excited for that. I mean Hey! I am about to finish my study, graduated, get a degree, get a job, and earn money by my own. But Hey! Come On! It turned out, it just too fast, real world is wild, working would be not as good as being student, you’d have a lack of days off, and you’d trap on the tick tock. Somewhile, it stresses me out, encumbered mind, and still not so sure, Senior Year Student? Really? Is it that fast? Well, I know it’s a rhetorical question, you and even myself does not have to answer that question. Sometime I witnessed my brain and heart fights each other. My brain says “oh damn in less than 6 months you’d be murdered by the final thesis. Have you find out the topic you’d like to focus on?” and my heart says “Well, think about your parents! They are growing older as the time passed, if you’re not make it as fast as you can effort, I am afraid you’ll regret it. no ones get killed by thesis. Think about it again!”

Lately, I read the novel and I watched many movies to push down my stressful. And still tried to figure out what’s the matter with me? Seems like I got myself on something wrong, and need to be repaired sooner. But I just Hope I would be able to lead my heart instead of my crazy brain, so that I could find out the way out.  

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Random Thoughts | Internship Story

Life

Random Thoughts | Internship Story

10:24:00 PM Komentar

When you lost everything you have, best friends, good life, all of them stayed far away behind you, do not ever surrender! Because your life must be go on. Just try to reach them back or if you have no ability for doing it, try to find another ones that could replace them. Yes, that’s life, cruel, so cruel! But don’t blame yourself it is not your fault, it’s absolutely the time’s fault. Time cause this all sh*t.

That’s happening to me right now, all I ever had they’re gone leave me alone! Fading away one by one. I gave my best to hold them back but my arm wasn’t longer and wasn’t big enough so, they eventually gone, really really gone with no trail. -Good life, oohh.. *it should’ve not mentioned anymore, it’s gone for the long time ago, but in other hand I have to believe that it is going to be back to me someday, and stay right beside me, that’s why I always mention it all the time and always remember it. -Best friends, seriously! I am sick of this, totally sick, like a lot. Let me bring you back to the time where I was the luckiest man in the world because I have the real best friends in my life. Well, it is not so long actually, it just about five years ago. When I was in high school (high school is the proof that my glory really exist). As the citizen of LIFE no one could deny that life is full of sh*ts and problems. Problem comes over and over again and just some of people in this planet earth who able to take a deal with it, I am one of them when I had best friends, I seems had no unsolved problem as long as my best friends stay on my side, they were the only ones I could share my problems with and solved it together, they were my power, the power of life. But unfortunately it WAS. Now, they gone already. And it just because the time! Grab them back seems to be impossible, the way out is replace them with another ones else, but yeah, it didn’t work yet, I haven’t found any of them. Just “BLOG” maybe is my best friend for now. “BLOG” is the only one I found, I can share with right now.

Every day new things come in different way. Just stand on where you are is not an option. Move on, go out of the comfort zone, that’s what we demanded to do. But here I say, going out of the comfort zone is not always as good as we expect to. I experienced it, I used to get out of my comfort zone many times and they all were like I expected to, happy was with me. Many things to learn about, many experiences to get from and many thing could change you if could make it happen, GO OUT of the COMFORT ZONE. Well, time showing its cruelty again. It turned out, I am now in the midst of enjoying my time going out of my comfort. But this time is different, I am not as luck as I am before. My currently zone is as cruel as the time (forgive me for always blaming the time). Let’s say it “Internship”, yes, I am doing my internship now (as you know internship is not my comfort zone). I did it for three weeks already and in three weeks ahead it will be ended up. Three weeks is not short! Yes it is. Bunch of things happened in this three weeks. But first I’m gonna tell you what make me sure that my-out-of-comfort zone is cruel, the thing is  every day I have to wake up earlier than what I usually do (it’s good actually, but I just can’t make it). Work started at 8 am, 12 until 1 pm is a break time, and 5 or 6 pm work finished. Weekdays is on Monday until Saturday, it means I have only one day off, it’s Sunday. Well, not bad but Come on! I am a young, and I am not ready yet for this shocking. I need a time where I could refresh my mind, hanging out with friends (not best friends, sorry!) having fun, and so on. I lost all of them during this internship. Feels like in jail trapped on space and time (exaggerating indeed, but that’s what I feel, Sometimes I do realize what I am saying is wrong, I’m not supposed to say that way but please excuse! I am in the peak of boredom right now. I am out of control). So, that is the reason why I am this sure to say that internship (being in this zone) is cruel.

FYI, I am doing this internship with five of my friends, Sukma, Haris, Rheza and Ilham. (And actually there was another shit story of me before I get into this internship. But it’s a long story so, i don't have time to tell you now). Five of us are not living on the same boarding houses, we’re separated. We made a deal, Rheza lived with Haris, and I lived with Sukma, and Ilham as well. But our boarding houses ain’t far apart. Haris and Rheza mostly spent their time in my boarding house, take a shower, sleep and so on, because the water in where they lived at is not clean and odor. fortunately our room is pretty large, it can accommodate five people.
As the days passed we-five are getting closer each other as before we did not. Some of them are not showing their changes but the others, they did. Haris and Ilham for examples, i see them just like before, no changes, their attitude, their habits, all the same. But i see Rheza and Sukma in different way, i mean they're not exactly like they were before. any changes. their attitude, habits, their way of thinking, their way of doing something shows any differences -that all are according to my point of views-. But well, i can't explain to you what these changes.
Okay, Back to the bunch of things that happened during my internship, and here i break it down :
 1. fight
Well,i shouldn't named it as a fights, just to make it be more overdo. i am kinda amused remembering this one. feels like I'm literally ridiculous, I quarrel with Haris on the first week of our internship. it was just because he mocked me when I was being sensitive, and i couldn't take it and I extremely pissed him off then i came to him and pushed his head -like Very Strong. he fell silent of sudden, then he said "YOU KNOW! NO ONE HAS EVER PUSHED MY HEAD BUT YOU, YOU'RE LUCKY I AM NICE!" with his angry-face (to be honest, it lil bit freaking me out at the time :D) I felt guilt after that and as the night comes up, i came into his boarding house and asked for his apologize. he replied me with one common word he always says that makes me queasy as hell and i hate it. "Selloow" here it is. and that's it! -What? it was like a very serious apologizing but what the hell i got was just "Selloow" -.- Okay, i know you so well Ris, i never mind it and i am SORRY!
2. Arguing - All the time
it will take a long to tell this "arguing" part because i am gonna tell you about me in advance to make it connect with what i am about to share. Sometime i feel like i am freak because many things that i do unlike what another people do. My own thoughts unlike other people's thoughts and many things. But apart from it, some cases I am also not uncommon finding people who have the same way with me (I really appreciate it). Meet new friends is my pleasure, making friendship with them. but my FRIENDSHIP way is also different. many of my friends make a friendship and then, they give a name their friendship with something and they mingle, hanging out  with their friendship members only, or in common word it called GANG. well, i am not such type person and i never put my interest on such thing as well, and most importantly, i never do that. i am friends with many people, whosoever they are as long as they are not the "bad" guys, like Really bad guys -in quotation marks. Yet, some people get me wrong, i mean, i don't know why some people sees me in the way they're not supposed to. they said "I only be friends with people i could get profits from" -well it totally upset me. Deep in my heart i swear i did not ever do that. for me friends is friends, friendship is friendship. I'd be very happy in case my friends could give me the profits but if not it is okay, and vice versa. Somehow, it is an afterthought for me, i do realize that the only one who provide an assessment to us is someone else, not us, our self. But now, i am bravely say i am not that way, i know myself better than other people. if you still think me that way, you can leave me and not to be friend with me anymore, that is your right. you can do it whenever you want!
I am Human being, yes i am. Human being makes the mistakes, yes absolutely!. I am a young, and a young people sometimes out of control and do something crazy, being childish and selfish because they are on the midst of seeking for their real identity. and i am a part of it. i do something crazy, sometimes i am out of control, and so on. but That's i am. Seriously, i hate being sanctimonious, as hell.
Well, During my internship, i did a lot of unexpected argue with my friend Rheza, almost everyday. I always tried to avoid it but unfortunately it was unavoidable. Seems like i have the different thoughts with Rheza (this is one of the changes i see on Rheza). Notwithstanding, i also hate and sick of it occasionally.
(FYI, what i am writing above is the explanation of what we always arguing about)
One thing that i would like to tell to Rheza in case he read this, "i am not that bad bro! like i said i am an ordinary young people, i did mistakes, sometimes i am out of control. you can see me from your perspective, but be careful it might be wrong. and i really appreciate the way you see me"  :v
3. President  Election
well, this is one of bunch of thing that happened during my internship, but i won't explain more about this one because actually i dont know exactly about both candidates and i also do not support any of them. But, in other side i still felt so guilt for not using my right on voting. it's mean, i am not a good citizen. but you know what? i am extremely sick of this election, totally sick as fu*k. and i am pretty sure you know why!

Well, i think that is all i can share to you my best friend -BLOG-. please promise me you'll keep this and do not tell the others. i am so sorry for the long story, but trust me, actually there still many things i would like to share but i am lack of words. so i think that's all is enough to pictured how is my internship like.

PS: for those who unintentionally read this or for those i wrote their name on, i am really sorry, don't blame me! it's a BLOG's fault, I've told him to not tell the others and please! no offense. it's just a RANDOM THOUGHT. Peace :v

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College Life

College Life

12:51:00 AM Komentar

Well, we do know time flies so fast, but I’ve just noticed it flies faster than I had ever thought and even faster than the rotation of this planet earth. I turned out into 21 years old by now, and in next 7 months I will be 22 years old. It’s quite mature to make my own decisions, to solve my own problems and to set up my own things by myself instead of asking the others. But, sometime what I see of myself is I am not so ready yet for this raising the age / maturation. I seem like acted childish more often than acted like what it supposed to be, in my age. But in the other side, I found out there are so many people do the same out there, so I still feel normal.

I am now a college student. FYI, in Bahasa high students and college students has the difference call. High student would be called as “siswa” and college student would be called as “mahasiswa”. There’s an explanation behind that appellation, the additional word “maha” before “siswa” in college student it has meaning as “great” so it becomes great-students. But the thing is why does it have to be called as mahasiswa/great-students? For me, it’s just because college students have a great things, I mean everything is great in college student. Great life, great learning methods, great activities, great thoughts, great actions and so on. Where there wouldn’t be such great thing in high school life for sure. For example the learning method, in high school the students would have a full attention from their teachers, students are not really demanded to be more pro-active (in short, students = passive, teachers = active) but in college it wasn’t. Lecturers were just give their speech and that’s it, the students are demanded to find out more (In short, it’s opposite, lecturers = passive, students = active). That’s one of the reasons why college student called as great-students.

Well, back to me. I am now a college student - third year student. Actually it was freaking hard to adapt with the college things at first, because I get used to the school things which is totally different. But I’ve been through it all for three years, so that I don’t have any reason to not get used to college life. Three years ain’t short. I live my life as a college student normally (well, not so normal actually). Studying / study hard-ing, sleepless-ing, campus-ing, home work-ing, organization-ing, meeting, hang out-ing, hibernating, and many more (hibernating is what I love the mostJ). Sleep late night (mostly at 12 / 1 am) and waking up earlier morning (at 6 am), Going to the campus (walking, sometimes half running because I am late), studying (sometimes I sleep while lecturer giving their speech), moving class, having lunch with friends at canteen, studying again (sleep again), moving class again, and going home (sometime, I have my organization meeting at noon after class finished). That’s all my daily activity during the day, and continually to the next day, day by day. But in holiday, I’d rather stay at my boarding house for hibernating for a day long, even more and do nothing. << And that is whole picture of my daily activities.

Anyway, there’s something I would like to share more about my college life and especially in the organization thing that connected with my daily activities and even my college life behavior. It’s kinda hard to tell actually and do not know where to start. Well, I am currently joining two kind of organization for this term. First one is association which is in department level, and the second one is organization which is in the world level – the biggest youth organization- (no mention). Two different organization, of course. Different feeling and different treatment as well.

Started from the first one, department-level association. I do love this association, and I do want to give my fully contribution for this association. But somehow, I feel like I am not supposed to be here, I couldn’t find out my self confidence, and sometime I feel like I was not respected by others, I don’t know why, that’s just what I feel (sorry to say L). Too crowded and too much mockery on it, I am to be kinda lazy attending every meeting they hold. To be honestly, I don’t really like it. But for all this things, I’ve got to say, I might be kinda freak, negative thinker or exaggerating, because seems to be I am the only who think that way. I don’t know how to figure it out, but seriously, I just don’t like it, that all. It’s just about “like” or “dislike”. And it actually impact me, I found myself trapped on discomfort zone –not confidence, not respected-.

Have you ever been in a condition where you feel the excitement of being in the highest top, and then, there’s something hit you all of a sudden and you fall down onto the deepest one?, yes I have. That’s what I faced in my second organization. Actually, I shouldn’t have told about it, because it’s not about me only, it’s about many people. Being in this organization was a part of my college life that I enjoy the most –except my academic, it’s a must-. I give all of my contribution to this organization and I give all of my spirit. Being a part of such awesome organization make my college life be more colorful, and be more worth it. One day, something worst happened, as the world-level organization, there are so many rules we have to follow, but unfortunately, we were not able to achieve all that rules, so that we got punishment by our “boss” (for me it’s the worst punishment ever –no mention what kind of punishment we got). My spirit lost immediately, and I felt like “this is the end of the world”. Time by time I tried to take back my spirit, and then I eventually took it even though it wasn’t complete. Pieces by pieces I found my spirit again, and I also tried to rebuild what I’ve ever done. As the time pass, something bad happened again (no mention), and I couldn’t take it anymore, I wanted to resign, but there still something hold me on. And that’s where I stand on, by now. I’m standing on two things, one side I would like to stop everything, and other side, I still want to grab my entire spirit, and be in the highest top ever again, because I love this organization so much, it gives me unforgettable moments I’ve never experienced before. But, yeah.. I am confused. It’s really ineffable.

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WESTLIFE FAREWELL TOUR

WESTLIFE FAREWELL TOUR

8:26:00 PM Komentar

Throwing back of your childhood memories doesn’t mean you’re being kind of confusion, and this is what I’m carrying out right now, trying to bring back my childhood memories on my mind. For me, it is like watching the movie. There will be an invisible monitor in front of you that would show you up scene by scene of these memories. Sometimes it makes you laugh, but sometimes, opposite. But, just enjoying the show!

Couple days ago, when I got problem with my eyes, I couldn’t sleep though late night already -insomnia- I decided to watched TV, instead. I don’t know what makes me eventually decided for doing such thing I had never experienced before when I got problem with eyes. It was actually in Christmas eve for the Christians, -but I wasn’t celebrating Christmas-. Some private TV channel presented their best programs, but only one program I had captivated by, it shows reruns of WESTLIFE FAREWELL TOUR concert. Although the real concert has been actually done in 2012 and I watched it out already on youtube, but I still have the same feeling while watching on TV, it’s sad. 

That’s the reason why I am turning my mind back to my childhood memories. Couldn’t be denied, I bravely say that I am growing older concurrently with increasing of WESTLIFE’s career, I am grew up by their songs, I mean, I know WESTLIFE since I was a child, one of their songs “I have a dream” used to be the first English-song that I knew in my life, and I even knew it before I knew “are you sleeping – lullaby” that was usually become the first English-song known by other child. It’s about 13 years ago. I was still 3^th grade in elementary school at the time. My elder sister love WESTLIFE as well, she bought WESTLIFE album cassette and she always listened to it all the time, and it affects me indirectly, I knew the whole songs on that album very well, but I just sang by the sounds, I mean I didn’t know exactly any detail lyric of each songs –even if I knew it I wouldn’t understand and didn’t know its meaning– I spelled what they spelled, that’s it. But, as we know that time flies so fuckin fast, 13 years have passed unnoticeably, I am 21 years by now but I still love what I used to love when I was child, I still love WESTLIFE so much, for sure!, henceforward, no changes, I even have their entire albums on my laptop. But unfortunately, worst thing is facing that they have been splitting up, there’s no more WESTLIFE. WESTLIFE is now just a name, a legend name that will always be remembered by all of people.

For those who don’t know WESTLIFE, here I am telling you a little story of them. Let’s break it down!

The story begins a long time ago (well, not quite, actually) in a town named Sligo in the West of Ireland. Three guys named Kian Egan, Mark Feehily and Shane Filan had performed in the school musical Grease together, and after their success on stage, had decided to form a band, called 6 as 1, and later changing their name to IOYOU. The group released a single "Together Girl Forever" in Ireland, and after limited success, Shane's mother, Mae, contacted the manager of Boyzone, Louis Walsh, to try and persuade him to take a look at the guys and to possibly sign them up. Although Louis was impressed he felt he didn't have the time to manage yet another band. But, luckily for them, he contacted Ronan Keating of Boyzone, who agreed to co-manage the new band with Louis. And so 'Rolo Management' was formed.

Mark, Kian, and Shane in I.O.YOU also Derek, Graham and Michael

WESTLIFE with Louis Walsh

The lineup of IOYOU was changed - 3 members (Derek, Graham and Michael) being asked to leave, and auditions were then held in Dublin to find two new members for the group. Nicky Byrne and Bryan McFadden were eventually chosen, and WESTLIFE were born! 

The group (who were originally known as Westside - their name having been changed by Ronan who felt that I.O.YOU was too boyband-esque) first supported the Backstreet Boys in Dublin, and then toured the UK and Ireland with Boyzone in November 1998. They stunned audiences on the Smash Hits Tour around the UK, winning "Best New Tour Act" at the Smash Hits Awards in November 1998.

However, the group was obliged to change their name from WESTSIDE to WESTLIFE early in 1999 when it was discovered that a number of existing bands shared the same name. Undeterred, WESTLIFE went on to release their first single “Swear it again” in April 1999 which went straight to the top of the British and Irish charts, becoming the biggest-selling debut single ever in Ireland.

WESTLIFE's eagerly-awaited debut album was released in the UK in November 1999, with double A-side single “I Have a dream” and “Seasons in the sun” becoming the UK Christmas number one of 1999. WESTLIFE won Record of the Year for “Flying without Wings” in 1999 and “My Love” in the following year.

Winning numerous awards left right and center, it is clear that WESTLIFE have achieved much acclaim and enjoyed a lot of success. Already in their brief career WESTLIFE have broken records as fast as they have set them - their second album, “Coast To Coast” went triple platinum in Ireland after only one day of release, and their seventh single release, “My Love”, gave them a place in chart history as they became the only band in UK chart history to have their first seven singles debut at number one.

March 2004 saw a new chapter begin for the group as Bryan McFadden announced his departure from the band, citing his desire to spend more time with his young family. Rumours suggested that this might be the beginning of the end for the group, however WESTLIFE have set the critics wrong once again.

WESTLIFE - now afour-piece in the tradition of all great pop acts -remain Ireland's most well-known and biggest selling pop export and undoubtedly one of the world's biggest pop groups. As of October 2007, WESTLIFE have released eight albums, and have achieved a massive fourteen number ones in the UK - the third-highest such total in UK history, behind Elvis Presley and The Beatles, and tied with Cliff Richard.

With soulful harmonies, angelic voices, drop-dead good looks, and the management of pop svengali Louis Walsh behind them, their much-anticipated world tour in 2008 means that WESTLIFE look set to enjoy chart success for many years to come!

In 2012, WESTLIFE announced that they will be splitting up following their last summer tour. They said “After 14 years, 26 top ten hits including 14 numbers one singles, 11 top 5 albums, 7 of which hit the top spot and have collectively sold over 44 million copies around the world, 10 sell-out tours and countless memories that we will forever cherish, we today announce our plan to go our separate ways after a greatest hits collection this Christmas and a farewell tour. The decision is entirely amicable and after spending all of our adult life together so far, we want to have a well-earned break and look at new ventures”. 

I searched for this story from the internet. It’s almost 2 years since their separating, each personnel have their own ways now. Hence, I don’t know any update of what they do after splitting, except Shane Filan, all I know is he’s continuing his solo music career, several months ago he came to Indonesia for carrying out his concert, but unlucky I am, I couldn’t attend his concert. 

The first Album Cassette my sister bought

For me, WESTLIFE is never die, WESTLIFE depicts of my childhood. By remembering WESTLIFE means remembering my childhood memories.  ARF

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