Random Thoughts | Internship Story
When you lost everything you
have, best friends, good life, all of them stayed far away behind you, do not
ever surrender! Because your life must be go on. Just try to reach them back or
if you have no ability for doing it, try to find another ones that could
replace them. Yes, that’s life, cruel, so cruel! But don’t blame yourself it is
not your fault, it’s absolutely the time’s fault. Time cause this all sh*t.
That’s happening to me right now,
all I ever had they’re gone leave me alone! Fading away one by one. I gave my
best to hold them back but my arm wasn’t longer and wasn’t big enough so, they
eventually gone, really really gone with no trail. -Good life, oohh.. *it
should’ve not mentioned anymore, it’s gone for the long time ago, but in other
hand I have to believe that it is going to be back to me someday, and stay
right beside me, that’s why I always mention it all the time and always
remember it. -Best friends, seriously! I am sick of this, totally sick, like a
lot. Let me bring you back to the time where I was the luckiest man in the
world because I have the real best friends in my life. Well, it is not so long
actually, it just about five years ago. When I was in high school (high school
is the proof that my glory really exist). As the citizen of LIFE no one could
deny that life is full of sh*ts and problems. Problem comes over and over again
and just some of people in this planet earth who able to take a deal with it, I
am one of them when I had best friends, I seems had no unsolved problem as long
as my best friends stay on my side, they were the only ones I could share my
problems with and solved it together, they were my power, the power of life.
But unfortunately it WAS. Now, they gone already. And it just because the time!
Grab them back seems to be impossible, the way out is replace them with another
ones else, but yeah, it didn’t work yet, I haven’t found any of them. Just
“BLOG” maybe is my best friend for now. “BLOG” is the only one I found, I can
share with right now.
Every day new things come in
different way. Just stand on where you are is not an option. Move on, go out of
the comfort zone, that’s what we demanded to do. But here I say, going out of
the comfort zone is not always as good as we expect to. I experienced it, I
used to get out of my comfort zone many times and they all were like I expected
to, happy was with me. Many things to learn about, many experiences to get from
and many thing could change you if could make it happen, GO OUT of the COMFORT
ZONE. Well, time showing its cruelty again. It turned out, I am now in the
midst of enjoying my time going out of my comfort. But this time is different, I
am not as luck as I am before. My currently zone is as cruel as the time
(forgive me for always blaming the time). Let’s say it “Internship”, yes, I am
doing my internship now (as you know internship is not my comfort zone). I did
it for three weeks already and in three weeks ahead it will be ended up. Three
weeks is not short! Yes it is. Bunch of things happened in this three weeks.
But first I’m gonna tell you what make me sure that my-out-of-comfort zone is
cruel, the thing is every day I have to
wake up earlier than what I usually do (it’s good actually, but I just can’t
make it). Work started at 8 am, 12 until 1 pm is a break time, and 5 or 6 pm work
finished. Weekdays is on Monday until Saturday, it means I have only one day
off, it’s Sunday. Well, not bad but Come on! I am a young, and I am not
ready yet for this shocking. I need a time where I could refresh my mind,
hanging out with friends (not best friends, sorry!) having fun, and so on. I
lost all of them during this internship. Feels like in jail trapped on space
and time (exaggerating indeed, but that’s what I feel, Sometimes I do realize
what I am saying is wrong, I’m not supposed to say that way but please excuse! I
am in the peak of boredom right now. I am out of control). So, that is the
reason why I am this sure to say that internship (being in this zone) is cruel.
FYI, I am doing this internship with five of my
friends, Sukma, Haris, Rheza and Ilham. (And actually there was another shit
story of me before I get into this internship. But it’s a long story so, i don't have time to tell you now). Five of us are not living on the same boarding houses, we’re separated.
We made a deal, Rheza lived with Haris, and I lived with Sukma, and Ilham as
well. But our boarding houses ain’t far apart. Haris and Rheza mostly spent
their time in my boarding house, take a shower, sleep and so on, because the
water in where they lived at is not clean and odor. fortunately our room is
pretty large, it can accommodate five people.
As the days passed we-five are getting closer each other as before we did not. Some of them are not showing their changes but the others, they did. Haris and Ilham for examples, i see them just like before, no changes, their attitude, their habits, all the same. But i see Rheza and Sukma in different way, i mean they're not exactly like they were before. any changes. their attitude, habits, their way of thinking, their way of doing something shows any differences -that all are according to my point of views-. But well, i can't explain to you what these changes.
Okay, Back to the bunch of things that happened during my internship, and here i break it down :
1. fight
Well,i shouldn't named it as a fights, just to make it be more overdo. i am kinda amused remembering this one. feels like I'm literally ridiculous, I quarrel with Haris on the first week of our internship. it was just because he mocked me when I was being sensitive, and i couldn't take it and I extremely pissed him off then i came to him and pushed his head -like Very Strong. he fell silent of sudden, then he said "YOU KNOW! NO ONE HAS EVER PUSHED MY HEAD BUT YOU, YOU'RE LUCKY I AM NICE!" with his angry-face (to be honest, it lil bit freaking me out at the time :D) I felt guilt after that and as the night comes up, i came into his boarding house and asked for his apologize. he replied me with one common word he always says that makes me queasy as hell and i hate it. "Selloow" here it is. and that's it! -What? it was like a very serious apologizing but what the hell i got was just "Selloow" -.- Okay, i know you so well Ris, i never mind it and i am SORRY!
2. Arguing - All the time
it will take a long to tell this "arguing" part because i am gonna tell you about me in advance to make it connect with what i am about to share. Sometime i feel like i am freak because many things that i do unlike what another people do. My own thoughts unlike other people's thoughts and many things. But apart from it, some cases I am also not uncommon finding people who have the same way with me (I really appreciate it). Meet new friends is my pleasure, making friendship with them. but my FRIENDSHIP way is also different. many of my friends make a friendship and then, they give a name their friendship with something and they mingle, hanging out with their friendship members only, or in common word it called GANG. well, i am not such type person and i never put my interest on such thing as well, and most importantly, i never do that. i am friends with many people, whosoever they are as long as they are not the "bad" guys, like Really bad guys -in quotation marks. Yet, some people get me wrong, i mean, i don't know why some people sees me in the way they're not supposed to. they said "I only be friends with people i could get profits from" -well it totally upset me. Deep in my heart i swear i did not ever do that. for me friends is friends, friendship is friendship. I'd be very happy in case my friends could give me the profits but if not it is okay, and vice versa. Somehow, it is an afterthought for me, i do realize that the only one who provide an assessment to us is someone else, not us, our self. But now, i am bravely say i am not that way, i know myself better than other people. if you still think me that way, you can leave me and not to be friend with me anymore, that is your right. you can do it whenever you want!
I am Human being, yes i am. Human being makes the mistakes, yes absolutely!. I am a young, and a young people sometimes out of control and do something crazy, being childish and selfish because they are on the midst of seeking for their real identity. and i am a part of it. i do something crazy, sometimes i am out of control, and so on. but That's i am. Seriously, i hate being sanctimonious, as hell.
Well, During my internship, i did a lot of unexpected argue with my friend Rheza, almost everyday. I always tried to avoid it but unfortunately it was unavoidable. Seems like i have the different thoughts with Rheza (this is one of the changes i see on Rheza). Notwithstanding, i also hate and sick of it occasionally.
(FYI, what i am writing above is the explanation of what we always arguing about)
One thing that i would like to tell to Rheza in case he read this, "i am not that bad bro! like i said i am an ordinary young people, i did mistakes, sometimes i am out of control. you can see me from your perspective, but be careful it might be wrong. and i really appreciate the way you see me" :v
3. President Election
well, this is one of bunch of thing that happened during my internship, but i won't explain more about this one because actually i dont know exactly about both candidates and i also do not support any of them. But, in other side i still felt so guilt for not using my right on voting. it's mean, i am not a good citizen. but you know what? i am extremely sick of this election, totally sick as fu*k. and i am pretty sure you know why!
Well, i think that is all i can share to you my best friend -BLOG-. please promise me you'll keep this and do not tell the others. i am so sorry for the long story, but trust me, actually there still many things i would like to share but i am lack of words. so i think that's all is enough to pictured how is my internship like.
PS: for those who unintentionally read this or for those i wrote their name on, i am really sorry, don't blame me! it's a BLOG's fault, I've told him to not tell the others and please! no offense. it's just a RANDOM THOUGHT. Peace :v
As the days passed we-five are getting closer each other as before we did not. Some of them are not showing their changes but the others, they did. Haris and Ilham for examples, i see them just like before, no changes, their attitude, their habits, all the same. But i see Rheza and Sukma in different way, i mean they're not exactly like they were before. any changes. their attitude, habits, their way of thinking, their way of doing something shows any differences -that all are according to my point of views-. But well, i can't explain to you what these changes.
Okay, Back to the bunch of things that happened during my internship, and here i break it down :
1. fight
Well,i shouldn't named it as a fights, just to make it be more overdo. i am kinda amused remembering this one. feels like I'm literally ridiculous, I quarrel with Haris on the first week of our internship. it was just because he mocked me when I was being sensitive, and i couldn't take it and I extremely pissed him off then i came to him and pushed his head -like Very Strong. he fell silent of sudden, then he said "YOU KNOW! NO ONE HAS EVER PUSHED MY HEAD BUT YOU, YOU'RE LUCKY I AM NICE!" with his angry-face (to be honest, it lil bit freaking me out at the time :D) I felt guilt after that and as the night comes up, i came into his boarding house and asked for his apologize. he replied me with one common word he always says that makes me queasy as hell and i hate it. "Selloow" here it is. and that's it! -What? it was like a very serious apologizing but what the hell i got was just "Selloow" -.- Okay, i know you so well Ris, i never mind it and i am SORRY!
2. Arguing - All the time
it will take a long to tell this "arguing" part because i am gonna tell you about me in advance to make it connect with what i am about to share. Sometime i feel like i am freak because many things that i do unlike what another people do. My own thoughts unlike other people's thoughts and many things. But apart from it, some cases I am also not uncommon finding people who have the same way with me (I really appreciate it). Meet new friends is my pleasure, making friendship with them. but my FRIENDSHIP way is also different. many of my friends make a friendship and then, they give a name their friendship with something and they mingle, hanging out with their friendship members only, or in common word it called GANG. well, i am not such type person and i never put my interest on such thing as well, and most importantly, i never do that. i am friends with many people, whosoever they are as long as they are not the "bad" guys, like Really bad guys -in quotation marks. Yet, some people get me wrong, i mean, i don't know why some people sees me in the way they're not supposed to. they said "I only be friends with people i could get profits from" -well it totally upset me. Deep in my heart i swear i did not ever do that. for me friends is friends, friendship is friendship. I'd be very happy in case my friends could give me the profits but if not it is okay, and vice versa. Somehow, it is an afterthought for me, i do realize that the only one who provide an assessment to us is someone else, not us, our self. But now, i am bravely say i am not that way, i know myself better than other people. if you still think me that way, you can leave me and not to be friend with me anymore, that is your right. you can do it whenever you want!
I am Human being, yes i am. Human being makes the mistakes, yes absolutely!. I am a young, and a young people sometimes out of control and do something crazy, being childish and selfish because they are on the midst of seeking for their real identity. and i am a part of it. i do something crazy, sometimes i am out of control, and so on. but That's i am. Seriously, i hate being sanctimonious, as hell.
Well, During my internship, i did a lot of unexpected argue with my friend Rheza, almost everyday. I always tried to avoid it but unfortunately it was unavoidable. Seems like i have the different thoughts with Rheza (this is one of the changes i see on Rheza). Notwithstanding, i also hate and sick of it occasionally.
(FYI, what i am writing above is the explanation of what we always arguing about)
One thing that i would like to tell to Rheza in case he read this, "i am not that bad bro! like i said i am an ordinary young people, i did mistakes, sometimes i am out of control. you can see me from your perspective, but be careful it might be wrong. and i really appreciate the way you see me" :v
3. President Election
well, this is one of bunch of thing that happened during my internship, but i won't explain more about this one because actually i dont know exactly about both candidates and i also do not support any of them. But, in other side i still felt so guilt for not using my right on voting. it's mean, i am not a good citizen. but you know what? i am extremely sick of this election, totally sick as fu*k. and i am pretty sure you know why!
Well, i think that is all i can share to you my best friend -BLOG-. please promise me you'll keep this and do not tell the others. i am so sorry for the long story, but trust me, actually there still many things i would like to share but i am lack of words. so i think that's all is enough to pictured how is my internship like.
PS: for those who unintentionally read this or for those i wrote their name on, i am really sorry, don't blame me! it's a BLOG's fault, I've told him to not tell the others and please! no offense. it's just a RANDOM THOUGHT. Peace :v
