Big Changes, New Chapter, and Senior Year Student
Hey everyone. How're you doing? Hoping
everything's going well on you. If you ask me how am I doing? Well, today I am
just fine actually but I don't have any idea couple days ago, might be I am
not. You know! Got a rough days, hectic-kills really fucked me up and couldn't
escape from that, I had to face it. Internship came into an end finally but
it's mean bunch of things would have to be done, moving back to Bogor (again),
get ready for the internship final report, cleaned up my room after 2 months I
did not (don't judge me! it's because I just come back) and more pathetically I
had no money, so stayed at home was the only one option. What a day!
Before we go on I want to clarify the words I
said "had no money" above. Well, to be honestly live in Jakarta is
hard, like Totally Hard. High living costs, some bad habits, air pollutions,
and those pretty much sums up how suck everything is, in Jakarta. Everything is
expansive there (for me), I spent a lot money during my living time there, and
for the result I was back to Bogor with lack-of-MONEY.
Allright, now let me write up the things that
happened to me. Let's start up from EID MUBARAK. First of all, sorry! This is
so damn late to post about Eid Mubarak, it passed few months ago but as I
mentioned above hectic-kills messed me up so, I just couldn't make it.
I got a half special Eid Mubarak celebration this
year. I mean some cases it could be special because I was doing it in the way I
never did, but in another case it could be not, because I wasn't doing it in
the way I supposed to. Every years I (supposed to) celebrated Eid Mubarak at
home, with my entire family, my parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, nephew and
nieces, which was in Sumanik (it’s a name of the hometown where I come from).
Yet this year I did it miles away from them. But, you know of course I did it
with any reasons, and the main reason is the Internship. I was doing my
internship for about 2 months for the total and my college summer holiday was
only 2 months and one week long. So that’s mean I just have one week free before
the new semester begun. What could I do in such period? Go home? Nope, it won’t
be enough at all. So, stay then. It was totally tough in advance, every day I fall
into a deepest sadness, I got myself on very high-uptightness circumstances,
and what worst is 2 days right before the celebration I got a phone call from
my mom, she said my sister has just birthed her new baby, and at the time I was
like WHAT? My new niece has just been born? I didn’t even know she pregnant and
I wasn’t even told by anybody before, how come nobody tell me? Well, I give my
best speculation, tho. It was probably a surprise for me. Okay I’m good.
Well, Eid Mubarak is identically with something
new. We have been through fasting month for a whole month and for those who
could give their effort for it would be deserved for a blank white paper, it
means our past sins about to be erased and we seem to be reborn as a brand new
again. And so are the clothes, in Eid Mubarak celebration people tend to wear a
new clothing. Unfortunately this year I didn’t make it. For the first time I didn’t
buy any new-clothing for the celebration. I know it is not such a big deal
actually, I bet you’d think only children would do that, it’s just a little
things, but Hey! Listen up! A movie quote says “Never underestimate the
power of little things, because when you least expect it, the little things can
cause a ripple effect that changes your life”. That is true, and yes, that little
things changes my life. Now I surely say “for the first time not being at home
and not buying any new-clothing in Eid Mubarak celebration” is the biggest
changes I’ve ever made in my entire life.
 |
| I celebrated Eid Mubarak with my cousins at Tangerang |
As I always said on every posting I posted it
seems like the world is moving so fast, and right now things are changing so
much. Yet ironically, I’m so afraid of any kind of changes, and so desperate to
cling to anything I already get used to, age-changes in particularly. I don’t know
and still couldn’t figure out why should I be terrified of being grow up? However
I just wish I wasn’t in such a rush to grow up, that was it. Too much things I
hadn’t done yet and I’d like to do in this ages. I am 21 year old by now, 3
month ahead I’d turn 22.
7th semester has just been starting, and
new ink has just been written up to the new blank paper. Start from September,
1st 2014 on, I am officially become the SENIOR YEAR STUDENT. Which
mean the NEW CHAPTER of life has been made. Well, I am apparently in the midst
of being excited and not-excited for that. I mean Hey! I am about to finish my
study, graduated, get a degree, get a job, and earn money by my own. But Hey! Come
On! It turned out, it just too fast, real world is wild, working would be not
as good as being student, you’d have a lack of days off, and you’d trap on the
tick tock. Somewhile, it stresses me out, encumbered mind, and still not so
sure, Senior Year Student? Really? Is it that fast? Well, I know it’s a rhetorical
question, you and even myself does not have to answer that question. Sometime I
witnessed my brain and heart fights each other. My brain says “oh damn in less
than 6 months you’d be murdered by the final thesis. Have you find out the
topic you’d like to focus on?” and my heart says “Well, think about your
parents! They are growing older as the time passed, if you’re not make it as
fast as you can effort, I am afraid you’ll regret it. no ones get killed by
thesis. Think about it again!”
Lately, I read the novel and I watched many movies
to push down my stressful. And still tried to figure out what’s the matter with
me? Seems like I got myself on something wrong, and need to be repaired sooner.
But I just Hope I would be able to lead my heart instead of my crazy brain, so
that I could find out the way out.
