College Life
Well, we do know time flies so
fast, but I’ve just noticed it flies faster than I had ever thought and even
faster than the rotation of this planet earth. I turned out into 21 years old
by now, and in next 7 months I will be 22 years old. It’s quite mature to make
my own decisions, to solve my own problems and to set up my own things by
myself instead of asking the others. But, sometime what I see of myself is I am
not so ready yet for this raising the age / maturation. I seem like acted
childish more often than acted like what it supposed to be, in my age. But in
the other side, I found out there are so many people do the same out there, so I
still feel normal.
I am now a college student. FYI,
in Bahasa high students and college students has the difference call. High student
would be called as “siswa” and college student would be called as “mahasiswa”. There’s
an explanation behind that appellation, the additional word “maha”
before “siswa” in college student it has meaning as “great” so it becomes
great-students. But the thing is why does it have to be called as
mahasiswa/great-students? For me, it’s just because college students have a
great things, I mean everything is great in college student. Great life, great
learning methods, great activities, great thoughts, great actions and so on. Where
there wouldn’t be such great thing in high school life for sure. For example
the learning method, in high school the students would have a full attention
from their teachers, students are not really demanded to be more pro-active (in
short, students = passive, teachers = active) but in college it wasn’t. Lecturers
were just give their speech and that’s it, the students are demanded to find
out more (In short, it’s opposite, lecturers = passive, students = active). That’s
one of the reasons why college student called as great-students.
Well, back to me. I am now a college
student - third year student. Actually it was freaking hard to adapt with the
college things at first, because I get used to the school things which is
totally different. But I’ve been through it all for three years, so that I
don’t have any reason to not get used to college life. Three years ain’t short. I live
my life as a college student normally (well, not so normal actually). Studying
/ study hard-ing, sleepless-ing, campus-ing, home work-ing, organization-ing,
meeting, hang out-ing, hibernating, and many more (hibernating is what I love the
mostJ). Sleep late night (mostly
at 12 / 1 am) and waking up earlier morning (at 6 am), Going to the campus (walking,
sometimes half running because I am late), studying (sometimes I sleep while
lecturer giving their speech), moving class, having lunch with friends at
canteen, studying again (sleep again), moving class again, and going home
(sometime, I have my organization meeting at noon after class finished). That’s
all my daily activity during the day, and continually to the next day, day by
day. But in holiday, I’d rather stay at my boarding house for hibernating for a
day long, even more and do nothing. << And that is whole picture of my
daily activities.
Anyway, there’s something I would
like to share more about my college life and especially in the organization
thing that connected with my daily activities and even my college life
behavior. It’s kinda hard to tell actually and do not know where to start. Well,
I am currently joining two kind of organization for this term. First one is
association which is in department level, and the second one is organization which
is in the world level – the biggest youth organization- (no mention). Two
different organization, of course. Different feeling and different treatment as
well.
Started from the first one,
department-level association. I do love this association, and I do want to give
my fully contribution for this association. But somehow, I feel like I am not
supposed to be here, I couldn’t find out my self confidence, and sometime I feel
like I was not respected by others, I don’t know why, that’s just what I feel
(sorry to say L). Too crowded and too
much mockery on it, I am to be kinda lazy attending every meeting they hold. To
be honestly, I don’t really like it. But for all this things, I’ve got to say, I
might be kinda freak, negative thinker or exaggerating, because seems to be I am
the only who think that way. I don’t know how to figure it out, but seriously, I
just don’t like it, that all. It’s just about “like” or “dislike”. And it actually
impact me, I found myself trapped on discomfort zone –not confidence, not
respected-.
Have you ever been in a condition
where you feel the excitement of being in the highest top, and then, there’s
something hit you all of a sudden and you fall down onto the deepest one?, yes I
have. That’s what I faced in my second organization. Actually, I shouldn’t have
told about it, because it’s not about me only, it’s about many people. Being in
this organization was a part of my college life that I enjoy the most –except my
academic, it’s a must-. I give all of my contribution to this organization and I
give all of my spirit. Being a part of such awesome organization make my
college life be more colorful, and be more worth it. One day, something worst
happened, as the world-level organization, there are so many rules we have to
follow, but unfortunately, we were not able to achieve all that rules, so that
we got punishment by our “boss” (for me it’s the worst punishment ever –no mention
what kind of punishment we got). My spirit lost immediately, and I felt like “this
is the end of the world”. Time by time I tried to take back my spirit, and then
I eventually took it even though it wasn’t complete. Pieces by pieces I found
my spirit again, and I also tried to rebuild what I’ve ever done. As the time
pass, something bad happened again (no mention), and I couldn’t take it
anymore, I wanted to resign, but there still something hold me on. And that’s
where I stand on, by now. I’m standing on two things, one side I would like to
stop everything, and other side, I still want to grab my entire spirit, and be in
the highest top ever again, because I love this organization so much, it gives
me unforgettable moments I’ve never experienced before. But, yeah.. I am
confused. It’s really ineffable.
